So, despite the deep and reflective title I'm not going to give you a full rundown of what happened during my time here at my lovely art school. That would be very boring in the long run.

School ends on Wednesday and I'll be going back up north on Saturday (thank GOD. I miss it ridiculously much). There's no classes left though, just some socialising events and cleaning. On top of that I'll have to return most of my keys on Tuesday so I can't spend time painting, sculpting or whatever unless I do it in my own living room and while there might be space for it I wouldn't be that interested in cleaning up afterwards.
Soooo it's pretty much over. And it feels kinda good. I'm not heartbroken about the fact that I'll be leaving but I'm not entirely unaffected either.
I think that I will miss the studio the most. Because it was nice to have a specific place where the creativity happened, so to speak. And I'll miss the feeling of exploring new things. Because no matter how you look at it that's what I've been doing. Meaning that my initial plan didn't come true

I mean, I wanted to improve what I already knew but most of my teachers seemed pretty determined that I was done with that - amusingly enough - and while I didn't quite listen to that (because I'm quite comfortable with what I do, thank you very much, even if I still need to work on my style) I still learned a lot.
I got to try new methods, media and experience things I never had before. It turned out that oil was a lot more fun than I thought while printing wasn't really my thing. I rock at weaving though (because I'm awesome like that and I'm still trying to find things I'm actually BAD at. Even my class mates have begun to ask me if there's anything I can't do. And there is. I suck at poetry). And even if my life drawing teacher was mostly disappointed with my inability to draw messy and free I still learned a lot about general anatomy. I didn't get to implement it much though because I never really painted or drew humans at school if I didn't have to, which is an amusing contrast to my regular motifs. I did more landscapes than I thought myself capable of doing

But better than all that was sculpturing class. It caught me completely by surprise. But I love it.
Partly because the teacher is so bloody supportive that I don't know what to do. God I'll miss her. I don't know if I've ever felt such an urge to cry when being told what I can do as when she talked to me the other week. Because even if she was clearly giving me one of her extremely rare compliments that wasn't the important part. She wasn't telling me how good I was - she was telling me what I can do. She was telling me that I CAN do this. That she doesn't want me to quit just because I'm finished at this school. I'm not exactly sure how I'll be able to keep it up since you need a kiln and all that if I want to keep working with the same clay I've used so far, but there's always a way. Or so I hope at least.

So basically this year has been less about improving than I thought and more about finding new exciting areas to explore. Which is good but also distracting x'D I mean, my personal art has been on an all-time low and while I'm surprisingly okay with that right now it will be difficult to get back on track. A part of me almost feel that I've forgotten how to do it :/
But all in due time, I guess. I'll have some time this summer between everything else that needs to be done - help my mother and her boyfriend renovate their new house to name one - so I'll hopefully get back on track with that.
If nothing else this year has resulted in me bying a LOT of art supplies x'D Oils, coloured pencils and watercolours, to name the most obvious. But I still have more masquerade masks that I want to do... and sculpting, as mentioned.
It will hopefully be awesome!


Anyways! We had our large exhibition thingie last Saturday where I showed off some of the things I've done over the course of the school year as well as the stuff I managed to finish for my Startwins-project far less than I would have prefered but I guess that you can't get everything...
*Verdokai was kind enough to come and visit during the exhibition though and it made it so much more awesome ^_^
The event itself wasn't all that exciting because we - the students - didn't get to see much. We were bogged down with various administrative duties so I spent roughly two and a half hour selling refreshments and cookies. Oh yeah. And I was awesome at it. Although I didn't do any actually selling most of the time, to tell the truth, I just made sure that everything else worked, which was a mission in itself.
Apparently my class mates have decided that I can fix pretty much anything, no matter if it's a situation or a broken printer. And luckily enough for them I love bossing people around and making things work


Soooo yeah.
What else?
I've seen The Avengers (twice) and it's an awesome movie. I'm not even going to BEGIN ranting about it but know that I love it. Incredibly much. And Chris Hemsworth is officially one of the best ways to make my brain shut up and die. And few things can do that, let me tell you that. This took be completely by surprise and I'm still not sure what it's about.
But I guess that the reasonable diagnosis would be that I'm a little soft for tall, blond muscular men. And there are far worse conditions to have


And as a small notice I can mention that my right hand knuckles are currently sporting some fancy looking bruises. I managed to slam them into a wooden pillar while carrying one of the sculpture podiums from the exhibition and now it looks like I punched someone. Amusingly enough my mother was almost more prepared to believe that story than the one about the podiums...
Thankfully enough the pain is gone now though. It was excruciating the first day when I couldn't even hold a pencil


So. All to all I can say that I'm pleased with my year at art school even if it wasn't like I thought that it would be. I wanted to improve my already existing skills but got to spend more time exploring new ones. Which isn't bad, just... different.
I had fun anyway.
I'm not going to miss living with other people but I can't deny that the atmosphere is kinda nice. It was a long while since I talked this much to pretty much all of my class mates, but that might be because most of us live so close to each other, out on the countryside, and only have each other's company most of the time It's been a nice experience anyway. I don't regret doing it.


I'm probably going to cry like a little girl on Wednesday anyway. Because that's when most of the students will leave - right after the graduation part - and amongst those are ~CarpeDentum.
This year has passed ridiculously fast. And I have a hard time understanding that she and I won't live at the same place anymore. We've done so for three years, and gone to the same school for four. It's hard to grasp. Not because we've spent every waking moment together - because we haven't - but because we've done so much together. Casual and normal things.
I'm not sure how I will react when I go grocery shopping now and have no reason to glance up every now and then to pinpoint where she is. Or what I'm going to do when I want to cook something that tastes best when it's shared. Or what I'm going to do with all the cakes, pies and cupcakes I will be baking and eating without her. Or how I'm going to play video games without her beside me on the couch. Or how I'm going to watch movies or TV-shows without her. Or not be able to not so subtly cuddle and fondle her in public whenever I feel the need to. Or hold her hand over the table when we're done eating and just want to talk about absolutely nothing I am straight. I promise... mostly xD

When it all comes down to it I would really like to just glue you to my side and keep you there for an indefinite future. If it wasn't for the fact that I know that it would drive both of us crazy in the matter of days
So now I'll just have to settle for the occasional plan to meet. And all the vacations we need to take together, to see all the awesome places we've talked about. And the knowledge that I won't let you go unless you forcibly make me.

I know we say it as a joke most of the time but you know that it's true, right? I really mean it.
I love you, Sara
The past four years wouldn't have been the same without you and it won't ever feel the same without you here. You are one of the best friends anyone can ever hope to have and I'm amazed that you had the patience to put with me of all people
Thank you


And, after that incredibly loud proclamation, I need to go to bed.
Take care, all of you